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Updated 2021 - 11 - 05
I'm done here. I've had enough. Some of you, I will regret for the rest of my life that I didn't try. The rest of you? That is why I have quit.
I will leave this here until Monday, then I am going to shutdown for awhile. I don't know if I will be back.
YOU REALLY NEED TO READ MY PROFILE THOROUGHLY AND CAREFULLY.
I am tired of answering letters to people that did not read my profile. Especially when they get upset after I write them back.
For example I often receive letters that say, “Please be honest, tell me what kind of woman you are looking for, what kind of relationship you would like to have.” Among other questions that I am asked all the time.
And I really do answer honestly, then get yelled at, ridiculed, judged, blocked, ignored. If you read my profile, what I write and how should not be a shock. If it is a surprise, you didn't read my profile.
So yes, I have developed something of a form letter after being asked and answering the same questions over and over and over. I answer your letter first, as in a conversation, then attach my opening letter. Then we continue, or not.
Don't ask a question if you can't handle all the possible answers.
Don't contact me if you didn't read my profile.
Updated 2021-01-07.
My computer had died right before the lock down here. So it took me months before I could get it fixed and be able to afford it. It is working now, and I am trying to catch up on my mail. I still get so many letters that I am very quickly overwhelmed. So please send smiles if you are still interested. If not, just put me on your Block list. That will be obvious.
I have recently been accused of being a player. I am not. My first response was one of intense anger. Though after calming down somewhat, I can understand why some people may think that. I don't have or make a lot of money. How the credit system on this site works is not very well balanced unless you buy at least 100 at a time. Then it is a one to one exchange. Having a $100 to spend on this site between paychecks is not easy for me to do. So it can take me some time to get back to you. I have over 6,000 unanswered letters in my Inbox. At 10 credits on average, that would be $60k. More than I make in a good year. So I cannot answer everyone. I turn down 9 out of 10 people upfront. What is worse is quite literally paying for rejection. Just say no.
If someone is able to answer you all the time, sending gifts, then they are the ones playing with you, not me. Take some time to think about that. If they have so much money and time, are you a person, or an object?
I am trying to answer at least the first letter from anyone.
For those who are making a genuine effort, you are not forgotten, I am not ignoring you, I am just poor.
I have met MANY beautiful people on this site that became very ugly very quickly as I got to know them. It has become a very painful and expensive lesson in human behavior. I have exceeded my patience and tolerance for certain kinds of people on this site.
I have a LOT of catching up to do. I am NOT going to respond to short letters anymore. I don't care how attractive you are. If you are not willing to put the effort into saying something meaningful, neither am I.
Hello! My name is Joshua Roscoe Bowers. Just Josh, for short. And if you don't use my name, I know you didn't read this.
I am not here to take advantage, abuse, mislead, manipulate, or hurt your feelings. I am seeking a very special girl to have a real relationship with.
I am going to put this up front in an attempt to try and prevent various issues. I do not want children. If you have children, or want children in your future, I am not the man for you.
I am not rich or even moderately well off. I cannot buy you a flashy car or a large house. I don't live in a glamorous place and I can't give you a comfortable life. What I can do is give your heart a home where you would feel appreciated and loved for who you are. I am a hopeless romantic taking a long shot that maybe this is where I will find the girl of my dreams. Or maybe I am the man from yours?
You need to know if you can be patient with me. It can be months before I am able to respond to a letter. This is one of the many reasons that I like long letters.
I am no longer going to write first. My letter in response should let you decide if you want to get to know me better or if you would rather spend your time and energy elsewhere. If you write me, make it a long letter. Ask me anything you like. Even things you normally would not in a first letter. Be brave. Push your comfort zone. I may surprise you. And since I asked, I will not be offended, I did ask. Take your time when you write. And I do mean ask me anything. I will also inform you that I will put as much effort into my letter as you put into yours. Please also consider this a polite warning. Why do I like long letters? At the moment, it is the only way for us to get to know one another. We don't have the benefit of all the things that we take for granted when in person. We can't look into each other's eyes, listen to tone of voice, or read body language. So you have to be boldly honest.
I have become better at identifying certain kinds of letters and I will no longer respond to them or short letters. If you are not brave enough to write a real letter, then you definitely do not have the courage to have a relationship with me. One of us is going to have to leave our home, our family and friends, our country, everything that we have come to know, love, and have been comfortable with. We will have to overcome language barriers, prejudice, and skepticism. So, again, if you can't write a genuine letter of some length, then you do not have the strength to overcome such obstacles. Let alone show that you have the dedication and determination to build a relationship.
I have been taken advantage, manipulated, and hurt by less than honest people. I have made a profile on other sites just for investigating as I have discovered some of you acting completely different in other places. The worst so far was finding out a girl here had been using the Instagram photos of a Polish model and stealing said model's identity. And I found this out, not the site. I find such behavior truly horrible. What kind of person would do such a thing? If I feel that you are fake, or playing with me, I might give you a second chance. You will not get a third.
I am complicated but I am kind. I am damaged but I am a good person. I am honest but I am shy and guarded. I am poor. All I can give you, is me. I can give you all of me, but I have nothing else. I am a passionate romantic and I still believe in love, but I am also a cynic and very particular. I could be the love, the journey you have been searching for, or your greatest mistake.
I was divorced in February of 2018 after a 15 year relationship. I have lost most of my friends. I am in a poor financial position. It has affected my confidence and my sense of self considerably. My heart and my head no longer agree on a fair amount of things. It made me bitter, though I still have hope for the future.
Why the divorce? My then wife wanted to have children. When we got together in my early 20's, I wanted children. She did not. We almost did not get married in the first place because of that. I was planning on having children at 22. I would be 40 by the time my girl or boy was 18. I would have been young enough to play with them if they wanted me to, and be involved with their lives. All the way up until 32 I was fine with having children. When they turned 18 I would be 50 and that is not all that old. I could still do all those things with my child, or children. My then wife was adamant against having children. So I let that part of me go. November of 2017 she changed her mind. The month right after our anniversary. She decided she wanted children and a divorce. It was a shock. After 40, having children now would mean my kids would have to grow up with the stigma of having such an older parent. I would be in my 60's when they are an adult. I do not want my children to have to suffer being made fun of, bullied, or having their feelings hurt because of me. Or that I could not be there for them if something happened to me. It was one of my Father's regrets that he did not get to do things as play catch, like his Father with him, as often as he would have liked. So on the positive side, it was not about money or how I treated her.
My passions run deep and I am rather hot blooded with definite ideas on what I like and how I like it. My preferences are not for everyone. I am neither conservative, nor a prude, although I seem both until you get to know me better. When I am in love, I enjoy the act. I do not care what other people would think. Only what my love would think.
There is something a friend of mine once discovered, that I think you should know and is very revealing about my character. I have a room in my mind, full of all the bad things I have done, things I feel guilty for, things I am ashamed of. After I wake up, every time, I look at all those things. I make myself remember, and feel, all over again. I dust those terrible things off, and put them back up one by one on the mantelpiece above the fireplace in that room in my mind. I do it because I want to be a better version of me tomorrow than I was yesterday.
My phone or my computer are always logged in and listed as online, though that does not mean I am always available.
It really does seem to me that the most beautiful, intelligent, passionate and romantic women in the world are Eastern European.
I have had good days and bad on this site. I have never felt so close to my hope, my dream, my fantasy, being a reality one day. I am also terrified to believe, and then watch it die. I am afraid to have my heart broken. Then the chills set in as I realize that I am going to be someone's mistake. A cautionary tale you tell your girlfriends about. The kind of man that lied to you, manipulated you, and hurt you. The one that broke your heart. The same kind of man I detest. Despite my intentions I am concerned that this is exactly what is going to happen because I am looking for that very rare, very special girl. And once I find her, others may feel hurt.
I am the kind of romantic man that is like the ocean. Calm or stormy on the surface you have to brave my hidden depths to truly get to know and understand me. I have secrets buried deep. And scars that run deeper still. My feelings and emotions are just as deep. I know that this is unmanly to say. I know that I am not gifted with a silver tongue. I am trying to take off my armor and mask for you. I have never dated multiple people before. What I am doing here seems very close to that. To a degree, it feels like I am cheating. I have found myself paralyzed on the precipice of hope and fear, wavering on a razor's edge. I need you to give me the strength and courage to continue.
I do not know what happened or why, but it seems that I have become very popular. I am very grateful for your interest and I very much appreciate your attention. I am pleasantly shocked and surprised. It has filled me with hope, and I do not want it to go to my head. However, I am overwhelmed. I am having a difficult time responding. I have rapidly lost my place in my Inbox. I never thought that I would say this, but I think that I should actively discourage you from contacting me. I try to be fair, which means when I get credits I go backwards and open letters that way, oldest to newest. I want to respond to every letter I receive as I feel it is the respectful and proper thing to do. Also, do not think that I am not interested in you because it can take me awhile to respond, it is that I am poor. I want to be fair and just towards everyone.
I should also warn you that I am drowning in my problems. You could jump in and try to save me, and you might even succeed. But you could also very well go down with me if you try. Now while I would find that very romantic, it is not very practical.
If you like me, please be patient with me. And keep sending smiles.
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